The deductible is frequently misunderstood, so allow us to be gentle. When you make a claim, you pay the first part. In your case, the first part is one tuna, delivered to our Customer Comfort Officer, a tuxedo named Biscotti, at the branch counter, within thirty days. It need not be fresh. It must, however, be tuna.
Some customers have asked if a sardine can stand in. We are pleased to say that it can, but at a rate of two sardines to one tuna, as laid down in Schedule F. Salmon is accepted at a premium, and chicken is accepted when no one is looking. In all cases, please do not attempt to pay in affection. We do value it, but regulators do not count it.
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