Making a Claim in Four Easy Steps (Nineteen if Witnessed)

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Making a claim should be simple, so we have limited the process to four easy steps, or nineteen if the incident was witnessed. First, ensure everyone is safe, and that the lamp is, where possible, upright. Second, record what happened in your own words, using no more than four, such as β€œit moved first.”

Third, submit your form to any branch, to our Claims Officer, Mr. Tobias Wheedle, or to any member of staff who is awake. Fourth, wait. Most claims are resolved in 12 working days, and in the meantime we ask that you refrain from repeating the incident, which could, regrettably, be considered a pattern. Your claim reference will arrive by post, and will be a number you are encouraged to lose.

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